The penises are innocent!
Well, that's what Michel de Montaigne was getting at in a random essay. Now I understand this is a weird topic, but I need to know more.
What else does Montaigne say about penises?
He talks about how men can't get an erection when they are about to have sex (especially on the wedding night). And as a result, they find themselves in a stressful/awkward situation with a naked woman.
Despite being able to perform in other cases, when a man needs his magic stick to be at its best, it stays limp.
During Montaigne's time, there were a few explanations.
A lot of them blamed witchcraft as the cause. But Montaigne found a simpler argument. He realized these men were just getting psyched out before sex.
And when you think about it, many of our plans falter due to getting psyched out.
It happens and this is normal in anybody's life.
But if it happens too often, then we must make adjustments.
What kind of adjustment?
Let's ask our step-daddy Baltsar Gracian for some advice.
Oh Father Gracia, how can we not psyche ourselves when trying to accomplish great deeds?
Gracian: My child, this advice is not complicated but very simple. Listen to this:
Undertake what's easy as if it were hard, and what's hard as if it were easy. In the first case, so that confidence doesn't make you careless; in the second, so that lack of confidence doesn't make you discouraged. It takes nothing more for something not to be done than thinking that it is. Conversely, diligence removes impossibilities. Don't think over great undertakings, just seize them when they arise, so that consideration of their difficulty doesn't hold you back.
Thank you, Father Gracian.
Okay, so you can probably see the significance of this aphorism. But if you don't, let me briefly explain it.
One of the main obstacles we will face in life is ourselves. Without even realizing it, we will psyche ourselves out. We'll think we're not good enough for that job, semi-cute girl, social group, etc.,. And then we'll go on in life not amounting to much.
But if you look at people who get the most out of life, they seize life. They feel the same insecurities you do, but they express the courage to live. And to their surprise, they get much more out of life than expected.
It is infinitely safer to know that the man at the top has his doubts, as you and I have ours, yet has the courage to move ahead in spite of these doubts. - Rollo May
Okay, now for the second reason why this aphorism is essential.
It's best to be on our toes when dealing with things we are comfortable with. I can't tell you how many stories of people, armies, and companies fell into the same story. Where they got comfortable and did not treat the easy things with more diligence. Only to see themselves get destroyed in the end.
One prime example of neglecting the easy things is social skills.
In school, we were surrounded by our peers, serving our social lives on a platter. But that ended when our schooling days were over. Many of us stopped being diligent with our social skills. Over time, we became so socially weak that we can't speak to a stranger without a panic attack.
To sum it up.
The special sauce to being a well-rounded person is to be bold for the hard things and diligent with the easy ones.
So, if we are to add this special sauce to our lives, how do we implement it?
Well, the first thing is taking daily or weekly time to self-reflect.
Why?
So you can identify the hard and easy things in your life. When you are conscious of these, you can take the appropriate actions.
This is where you start making your daily or weekly goals to treat the hard things easy when it's time. Mind you, this will feel foreign at first. Heck, you may even feel like a fraud in the process.
It's okay.
This is your mini-initiation, and you will overcome those uncomfortable feelings. Once you get the hang of doing the hard things, you will realize one harsh truth: You were holding yourself back.
That being said, if the hard things become manageable, you must be diligent about it. You do this by setting good habits to ensure you don't neglect them.
This applies to all the easy things in your life.
To ensure they are not neglected, set good habits and be diligent.
I know this might seem like overkill, but I can't tell you how many people I've seen let themselves go. And they are currently painfully mediocre—they were once young and vibrant people.
It can happen to any of us.
So, be sure to be diligent with the easy things.
Some people will think Gracian's aphorism and my explanation are satisfactory. But their hearts will find it impossible to treat the hard things as easy.
I get it.
I used to be there, too. But as I mentioned earlier, fear, insecurity, and self-doubt will always exist. You need to express courage. This emotional roller coaster is the mini-initiation.
So whether you feel like it or not, proceed with the hard things and force yourself to think of them as easy. The funny part is that you are more capable than you think. Yet, Gracian's aphorism gives you a chance to discover this. We can't psyche ourselves before even trying.
And if you live out Gracian's aphorism, you will be surprised at what you can accomplish in life. One person who was not surprised by their accomplishments was Kobe Bryant.
First of all, RIP Kobe Bryant.
Now, onto business. There are many stories about Bryant's work ethic. Some are funny, crazy, and interesting.
However, one thing about Bryant was consistency. He treated practice (an easy thing) like it was hard and NBA games as if they were easy.
Treating practice as hard.
Kobe Bryant practiced before the official team practice. He worked hard to perfect his craft, spending hours on easy things like shooting and footwork. He did not want to neglect the skills many NBA players took for granted, which is why Kobe remained an elite player until his very last game.
Treating NBA games as easy.
On the court, Bryant was the target of the best defenders, and this didn't phase him at all. When he was cooking the best defender, opposing teams would send a second defender. Again, this never bothered him.
In fact, a reporter asked Kobe what he was thinking when opposing teams sent two defenders to attack him. Bryant's response was, 'Let them send a third defender.'
Whether Kobe had a successful night or not, he treated every game as easy. That allowed him to accomplish feats few NBA players can even dream of.
But you can dream of success if you avoid this one mistake.
Don't ignore the second half of Gracian's aphorism, which is getting lazy with easy things.
Sometimes, it's hard to think we must be diligent about easy things. We keep telling ourselves, 'I'm fine and don't need to work on it.'
This is a lie!
We can always get better with the simplest skills. There is one main difference between a master and an amateur: the master understands the basics deeply.
So, the more we focus on the easy things, the more we will have a deeper understanding and a more nuanced skillset.
For instance, social skills.
When you commit to this skill set, you will develop natural charisma, no matter how average you think you are. By setting good social habits like talking to strangers, active listening, etc., people will be amazed when interacting with you. Despite these social skills being simple, your social skills will be noticeable. Which will lead to more social and love opportunities.
To give you an opportunity to leave me, let's get to the summary.
Summary
Gracian's aphorism in a nutshell: Be bold for the hard things so as not to psyche yourself out. Be diligent with the easy things so as not to neglect yourself.
To implement this aphorism, you need to self-reflect on a daily or weekly basis and keep yourself accountable for your actions and habits.
For those who feel they can't be bold enough to face the hard things, they need to express courage. Doubts and fears will exist, but courage will help them move forward.
Kobe Bryant was a prime example of someone who followed Gracian's aphorism, being one of the many reasons for his NBA success.
Do not get lazy with the easy things, as they will catch up with you. For instance, neglecting your social skills will lead to an eroded social life.
There is a small part of you thinking that I'm overkill.
And that might be true to an extent. However, living a fulfilling life is not about focusing on complicated things.
But on simple ones.
If we can give ourselves a chance for the hard things, that enriches our lives. And if we are more serious about simple things, we ensure we are not rotting ourselves. Again, all of this contributes to your well-roundedness.
So be wary of ignoring Gracian's aphorism.
And if you do, don't be surprised when you can't perform your manly duties with a pretty lady.
Until next time,
Bulcha
The Charismatic Nerd
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