How can a dress be unpatriotic?
In 1947, Christian Dior presented a silhouette as their new fashion item. If you were to look at this piece of clothing, you would think nothing of it. Compared to modern standards, this silhouette is basic.
But in 1947, it wasn't.
Why?
The item used yards of expensive fabric, which is all nice and dandy. But World War II barely ended two years ago, and many people struggled to rebuild their lives. So, seeing a fashion item use so much fabric was deemed unpatriotic and an insult to the people.
Another thing that may or may not be an insult to others is your lifestyle.
Huh?
I know; it just seems like I'm confusing in this article. But before I start blabbing, let's see what I mean by lifestyle.
A lifestyle is basically how you live your life. The emphasis is on you and the way you approach your social life, love life, hobbies, emotional life, money, career, etc.
That's it.
Everybody has their own holistic lifestyle. You may be able to relate to different parts with others, but each individual is different.
An issue with lifestyles in the internet age is that people don't realize they are responsible for creating them. Instead of being active creators, they passively accept what others tell them about how to live their lives and follow another person's lifestyle.
They go on and parrot views from specific gurus on money, sex, and career. Not doing any critical thinking for themselves. At this point, people are just knockoffs of internet gurus.
Now, some will wonder why they can't follow another person.
The problem is that you are giving up your one chance to figure things out uniquely. I remember reading a corny but inspirational science quote saying that each individual is a new experiment in how to tackle life.
If you follow another person's lifestyle, you are choosing to suppress whatever talents or new insights you may have for the sake of following.
The sad part is that others will notice you are a knockoff version of XYZ guru. Even without the gurus, think about the stereotypes that exist:
Jocks
Academic Nerds (which I was)
"Alpha" males
Boss Babes
Looks without smarts
Gangstas
Incels
I'm sure we all know people who fit these personas. They are predictable. You know how they live and view the world (which they did not think about nor create for themselves).
"To follow another is to follow nothing." Montaigne
So don't disrespect yourself.
Create your own lifestyle that is uniquely yours.
But how?
Experimenting!
Try new things and entertain different views to discover what you like and dislike. Then, decide how you want to live an authentic life.
Mind you, this will take some time and some embarrassment. I know, I know. Why does this have to be hard?
But this is the price to pay to create a life that is uniquely yours instead of being a forgettable and predictable individual. When people meet you, they will be perplexed but intrigued by you.
They will find it hard to put you in a box but will find you interesting. Perhaps they will want to get to know you better. Or maybe they think you are a tool.
Either way, you will leave an impression on others.
This allows you to attract people who will like you and repel those who won't.
But we are not creating our lifestyle for others but ourselves. At the end of the day, you are the person who is going to live your life. People will come and go. That is just the impermanence of life. But you will still be there for yourself.
So focus on you.
This process of creating your lifestyle will be a lifelong venture. You will constantly add and subtract things from your life. There will never be a time when you feel your lifestyle is complete. It will evolve with you.
Otherwise, the same person who keeps the same lifestyle indefinitely has given up on growing.
It's not natural to be the same person you were.
As you live, create experiences, and live outside your comfort zone, you will evolve and fulfill your human potential.
It's impossible to fulfill your potential and be the same person throughout.
With all that being said, some will think this journey of creating their own lifestyle is too uncomfortable.
Of course, it is!
There is a price for everything in life. And you have to pick your poison.
These are the two options in life:
Adopt someone else's lifestyle, and there will be no pain in figuring things out independently. However, you ensure self-betrayal.
Figuring out your own lifestyle will be a pain over the long term. Still, the satisfaction is that you created a life that is uniquely yours and are living a fulfilling life.
Each path has its own pros and cons.
But some paths are worth more than shortcuts, no matter how painful. We are going to experience pain in life. There is no hiding from it. So be wise and choose the correct type of pain.
If you do, you will be a person worth remembering. This whole style thing applies not only to the life domain but also to many other areas of life.
If you pay close attention to different domains, you will see people have their own style.
For instance, if you watch MMA/Boxing, you know that the best fighters have unique styles.
Or even literature.
You see how Victor Hugo writes compared to Dostoevsky.
Heck, even in sales.
The best salespeople have styles that cannot be emulated because they are unique to the salesperson.
For my lifestyle, my 'flavour' is to make things enjoyable.
From work to hobbies to reading, I try to make it enjoyable. This allows me to have a good time. Plus, since I'm having a good time, it helps put other people's guard down, and they feel okay having fun with me. I do this during sales calls, boxing fitness classes, and hanging out with friends.
At this stage of my life, this is my style.
The point is that to live an authentic life, you need to figure out your own style. This will give you your own perspectives. You are a new experiment in life, and you do yourself right by figuring out what the results are going to be.
"Bees ransack flowers here and flowers there: but then make their own honey, which is entirely theirs and no longer thyme or marjoram. Similarly the boy will transform his borrowings; he will confound their forms so that the end-product is entirely his: namely, his judgement, the forming of which is the only aim of his toil, his study, and his education." Montaigne
Now, people can do themselves wrong by becoming rigid once they find a comfortable lifestyle. Say you experiment and find a lifestyle you like.
Finito, mission accomplished!
You feel like you don't have to go on experimenting with your lifestyle.
Wrong!
You may find a lifestyle that works for you now. But as time passes, you will need to evolve, and so will your lifestyle. Otherwise, if you stick with a lifestyle permanently, it will seem like you wore clothes that fit you in junior high school.
It's natural to evolve with time.
Those who try to keep their lives the same will find the world moves on and cringes at them.
Think of the adults who still act like adolescents despite being in their 30s and 40s.
We overcome this error by self-reflection.
This allows you to review your actions and make the necessary tweaks. Many times, people end up building lives they regret because they neglect to reflect.
So don't make this mistake.
Start journalling or look at the Full Focus Planner (my new favourite day planner). These two items are simple but effective to ensure you keep tabs on yourself.
And to keep tabs on your attention, let's get to the summary.
Summary
A lifestyle is basically how you live your life. And the importance is on you.
By following another person's lifestyle, you are giving up your personal power to create your own. Suppressing your talents and uniqueness in the process.
Creating your lifestyle will require experimenting and dealing with growing pains, but you will create a life that is uniquely yours.
Creating your lifestyle will be a lifelong task that will require constant tinkering.
Although creating your own lifestyle will sometimes be painful, it's worth it. And you will be remembered as a unique individual fulfilling their potential.
To see different styles, look at fighters, writers, salespeople, or anyone else with any skill. You will see that the best have their own styles, and the same applies to life.
When you find a lifestyle, be careful not to be rigid. Be open to tinkering, as this is part of growth. To stop tinkering means to stop evolving as a person.
I remember our step-daddy Gracian writing a quote about the paradox of living: "Oh, life, you should never have begun, but since you did, you should never end."
Life is painful.
But because it is brief, it can also be a magnificent experience.
So, with your life, be responsible and create something you can celebrate—unlike Christian Dior's 1947 silhouette.
Until next time,
Bulcha
The Charismatic Nerd
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